have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
