I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
