it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
