Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
