i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
