I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
