Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
don't judge my taste in strippers
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
