Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
