$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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