my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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