i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
