i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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