Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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