Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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