Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
