That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
