I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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