and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
