I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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