I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
