Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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