Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
