Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
