Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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