people are starting to question the shark bite story
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Another day, another engagement, another cat
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
