Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
