i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
