i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
bring money and cleavage
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
