i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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