the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
