ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
