I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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