Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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