I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
