she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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