We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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