Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
