So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
