Buhtt sex?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
