I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
