did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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