i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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