I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
