Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
