i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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