Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
3 2 1 whiskey
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
