i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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