and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
