i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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