Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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