best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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